Sister, Sister
“Sister, Sister” was an awesome show. I give you permission to laugh at me at this moment.
OK, now that you’ve collected yourself, I can continue.
Unfortunately, this is not a post about the fun-loving sitcom. This is an entry that will discuss my older sister, Asuncion Teresita Mascardo. Some of you may be surprised by this, seeing as you never met her. Well, I haven’t either. At this point, I’m hoping that you’ve figured it out where she is by now.
From what I’m told, she would have been 2 years older than my brother, who is currently six years older than me. I always wondered what it’d be like having a sister. Especially an older one. I like to think I would’ve called her “Sunny” for short (saying Ate Asuncion would take too long). I asked my parents if they still would’ve had me if my sister was born, and they always say, “Yeah, totes, Dan!” while looking at each other suspiciously.
While having an older brother is extremely awesome in every regard, I feel like Sunny would’ve been the buffer who would stop my brother from kicking my ass during our early years…or she would’ve been the mastermind behind it all. Years later, her friends might have come to the house and notice how cute I am in comparison to my gross older brother. Which would have been a HUGE self-esteem booster.
Then, as more years passed, she’d be the female perspective I needed to help me understand the mind of a lady. Or just help me understand life in general. She’d tell me what makes a girl happy, what makes her angry, and why she can jump those moods within a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, without her around, I just have to learn from experience.
I imagine Sunny would probably be married by now. Have two kids. A nice house in New York…or San Diego…or Chicago. Then I’d visit every so often just so the kids know they have an awesome uncle like me.
Alas, God had other plans. As a result, I was born.
Looking back on it now, I suppose it’s the reason I feel so attached to one of my best friends Tammie. In every sense, she is the sister I never had. Which is kind of why I was freaked the fuck out when I found it she had “Teresita” AND ”Asuncion” in her full name. I go to her for so much. I talk to her when I feel lonely, I ask her for advice regarding women, I watch her lose at Donkey Kong, I get my ass kicked when we play Mario Kart together, I come to her with all my highs and lows…and so on and so forth.
I still remember visiting Tammie in Santa Cruz the night before she moved to LA. While I was with her, it never really dawned on me exactly how far away she was going to be. Now, I know that most people can get to LA by air in about an hour. Driving…what, like…6 hours? But if you rely on someone and love them that much, even 4 hours seems like an absurdly long distance. But that night, I didn’t really think about it. Apparently she did.
I remember giving her my final hug at her front door. As I was walking away, I decided to look over my shoulder so I could give her my final wave goodbye. And there she stood, crossing her arms with one hand over her mouth, holding back tears. At that moment, it finally hit me. 6 hours away, a face I won’t get to see every day. My heart sunk. But I tried to keep my cool. So I gave her a weak smile and said, “Don’t worry, Maria, we’ll be alright.” And then I walked out.
After that, I drove home for 20 minutes with tears in my eyes (it actually turned out to be a driving hazard; if you do cry for some reason, don’t drive).
I can say, with pride, that I love her way more than she loves me. She likes to say she loves me equally, but I argue with her. In fact, we argue a lot about who loves who more. And not in the cute way like…”Oh you stop, I love you more. Hee hee!” No…it’s more like…”Tammie, you sack of shit, shut up! I fucking love you WAY more than you love me! I will PUNCH you later. Want some Oreos?” Something like that. And yes, that was all said in one sentence.
Some of you know Tammie, I’m sure. She does not read this blog at all. So if you do know her, do not tell her anything you just read here. I intentionally made this post a lot longer than necessary to send some of you away with disinterest. If you mention anything from this post, I will immediately deny it when she asks me about it.
The reason being I don’t want her to know she actually holds a lot power over my feelings. I’d hate it if she ever found out. Because then…she could guilt trip me to the MAX if she wanted to.
And that’s something I don’t want.
