A Passive-Aggressive Post About Passive-Aggessive People
I’ve had a tumblr for about 15 months now. I thought that it was a place where people wrote about their thoughts on world issues or how their day went. Instead I found an overwhelming gallery of gifs and jpegs, complaints about God-knows-what, and everything else in between.
Over the years, I’ve come to understand almost everything tumblr folks have to offer. Some people really do write their educated views on world issues and current events. I appreciate you if you do this. I hate to admit it, but I wouldn’t know what’s going on in the world if it wasn’t for you. You make me aware. Thank you. Sincerely. Others post pictures because no one likes reading (understandable). Some complain simply because they want to blow off some steam. I get it.
What I NEVER understood was the need for passive-aggressive posts. Especially personal passive-aggressive posts. I can kinda get it if there was a stranger who called you something derogatory, and you need to vent on tumblr so you can get some support. I get that. But when someone vaguely addresses no one when they’re clearly addressing someone…I often sit at my desk and laugh out loud to myself scratch my head in bewilderment for a variety of reasons. For now, let’s refer to the passive-aggressive person as “Tracy”. I am intentionally using a gender neutral name, just in case.
1) We’ll assume that Tracy’s best friends already know about his/her personal vendetta against whoever it is that’s being addressed in the post. So who else is Tracy trying to vent to?
2) Tracy has full use of the “ask” button on tumblr. Why not just send the message directly? Or perhaps on twitter? Or on Facebook? Maybe a text message?
3) If the entry was written SOLELY for personal use, why doesn’t Tracy buy a diary and write his/her most personal and intimate thoughts in that instead? Perhaps even put a lock on it so no one else can invade it? In an instant, Tracy would see that writing with a pen and paper actually helps relieve stress! WIN-WIN!
Because I’m kind of an asshole and had a bit of free time just now while sipping on this 94-proof whiskey at my desk, I even made a pie chart for all you visual people out there!
I took a poll that consisted of 2 people. And I can say that this is scientifically accurate. Trust me.
All you clever people have probably already noticed it by now. “It” being the irony of me making this post…since the post itself is actually quite passive-aggressive (Good for you, people-who-figured-it-out!). You can call this me being a hypocrite if you want. I call this “justice”. An ice cold can of smooth, multi-bodied justice. OR you can call it “Dan Being a Dick”. All of those actually work relatively well, in this case.
I’m also biased because many, many years ago…I was usually the person being addressed in other people’s passive-aggressive posts. Surprise surprise.
Also, from now on, I will shamelessly being adding tags to posts, just to see if they actually work. Let’s try it NOW!
Furthermore, I am a little drunk. Judge freely.
